Shhhhh… Keep It To Yourself

September 5th, 2012 by Steve

I am often amazed when I start out a new project or take on a new challenge and excitedly tell my friends about it just to have them immediately talk me out of it or tell me how hard it is? There seem to be so few people who genuinely get behind you to say ‘go for it’ or ‘good for you.’ I am left wondering why do people so readily trash our dreams?  Even more confusing is the fact that, many times, it is the people closest to us that are so negative.

I should clarify that I’m not talking about those openly negative people who see the bad in everything. Most of us know to avoid them as best we can. I am talking about a more subtle version of negativity that seems to be far more common. When I started making changes in my life, so many of the people closest to me (other than my now wife) seemed to fight the changes.

I went from beer drinking bar fly to someone more focused on fitness and healthy and all my bar fly friends kept making comments like “it won’t last” or “you won’t succeed.”  They said it in a joking fashion and were close friends but they did not think it possible. When I went from single to dating to married I heard similar advice from single and married friends “you’ll never go out again” or “now you’ll never have any more freedom.” When I had my first child everyone had advice. My wife and I did our best to be as natural and healthy and give the best care to our daughter and again everyone said “A natural child birth is impossible” or that my wife would not last long breastfeeding or we were too serious taking classes to be better parents.

Everyone had an opinion and it was rarely as simple as saying “good for you go for it.”  As I thought about it, I realized that it has to do with energy and the level of people’s consciousness. Our lives are a direct reflection of the people we were up until now. The choices we’ve made have led us to where we are today and accordingly the people around us are a reflection of who and what we were. So if I would go out to watch the games and drink beer with my buddies, it should not shock me that they did not understand someone who became something different. They were a reflection of the beer drinking, sports watching, couch potato me not the healthy eating, running, athletic me. When I changed they resisted it and were negative because they had not changed. The same goes for all the other major changes in my life.

People seem to resist change because it takes a great amount of energy to leave the space you’re in. Further they either don’t understand or don’t like to see people who make the change because it shows them something they want but haven’t put the time and energy to get.

What does this mean for those of us that want to change and keep changing for the better?

Well first don’t say anything. I’ve found it is so much easier when you don’t tell people you’re dieting or dating someone new or taking on a new challenge unless you know they are those rare friends that are always supportive. I’ve found that if I just go about my business and focus on what I want for my life and keep it to myself soon enough people see the change and wonder why I’m so happy. Along the way I meet new people that match the new change I’ve undertaken. They are always supportive and match the energy and life that I am seeking to attain and help me get there sooner.

I’ve found that goals are much easier to reach this way because you don’t have the negative influence from your friends that surrounded the old you and their negative energy doesn’t work against your new positive energy.

Along the way you will find great friends and partners that always want you to succeed and constantly strive to succeed themselves but until you get there I say “Shhhh keep it to yourself” and let the world figure out why you’re so happy and what has changed.

Practical Intention


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