Archive for June, 2010

Maybe it’s Just You

June 19th, 2010 by Steve

We all have bad days. It just feels sometimes like no matter what you do, how you feel or what energy you put out into the universe, that you just have a bad day. Hopefully the bad days are few and far between, and after the bad day you can put it behind you and move on. At least that is how it should be and feel.

Do you find yourself having bad day after bad day? One bad interaction with a rude sales person, mean boss or snippy waiter after another? Do you feel the world is against you? Are you always fighting the good fight, not letting people take advantage of you? Do you stand your ground and fight in order to feel righteous?

Well, I don’t like to say it but I will…. maybe it’s just you.

I have always seen God as a facilitator, a parent who supports His children by giving them the tools to live any kind of life they choose. I have never seen God as someone who plays favorites or chooses one to suffer while another lives in luxury. Those choices, I believe, are up to us. We choose the type of life we want to lead.

We choose how the world perceives us and how we perceive the world. I have many friends and acquaintances who live in very similar circumstances to me. They have similar jobs, income, education, families, etc. So our environments both physically and socially are pretty much the same. Yet they have the worse days. Every day is filled with someone trying to ‘get one over on them’ or some ‘rude waiter’ or some ‘idiot that cut them off.’ I rarely see or experience these things. I’m not immune from them but generally I have very few bad days. Am I that lucky? Are my friends who suffer from bad days that unlucky?

Did God choose me and say: “He is one of my favorites, so he gets to have easy and fortunate days”?  As much as I’d like to think that God did choose me for an easy life, I think I choose it myself. I am not removing God from the equation. God provides me the power and energy to manifest the easy life I think I deserve but, in the end, God gives me what I choose.

As I hear about the negative experiences my friends have, I keep coming back to the same two questions: “Why did you choose to have this experience? And why are you choosing to have it over and over?” For an answer I always look to my life and experience. If they occupy the same environment as me and they have these bad experiences, then I must be doing something so that I don’t have them.

How do you go from being a negative person to someone that always has great days? The answers are not easy. I will touch on them briefly but will have to expand on each with its own article in due time.

    1. Your Perception: It starts with your perception of the world around you. How do you react to your environment? A good example of this is in young children who have not had the life experience of adults and often tease or make fun of other children. If you look closely, you’ll notice that they rarely pick on kids who are not bothered.  They almost always pick on kids who are bothered because they are looking for that reaction to feed something inside themselves that they do not get elsewhere. If you react negatively to people (which more often than not are the cause of the bad situations), then more attacks will come your way so those people can feed off your negative reaction. On the other hand, if you react positively or don’t react at all, you will soon see that the negative people in your life will take less of an interest in you. If they are in a negative space, they want you there too. If you won’t join them, they will stop trying and find someone who will. As the saying goes, “misery loves company.” If you cannot perceive a loving, caring world you will forever experience a life of ‘bad days.’

      Start changing your perception today. When faced with someone negative, don’t get sucked in. Instead, react positively and show them love and understanding. It may drive you crazy at first because you will want to put up your shields and fight.  But it is easier to let energy flow past you than to put up a wall and resist it. Imagine standing in a river or a gust of wind and you face it head on. You feel its force pushing against you and you have to push back just as hard. However, if you turn your body sideways, the wind or water rushes past with minimal resistance. Being nice and radiating positivity is equivalent to turning your body sideways. Others’ negative energy will flow past you so you waste no energy dealing with that situation.


    1. Your Feelings: How do you feel every morning? Do you wake up eager to face your day? Are you excited to get to work and do something meaningful or touch base with your coworkers? Does the thought of seeing your children get you hopping out of bed eager to face the day? Or do you get up dreading facing your boss? Want just a few minutes sleep until the kids come in and you have to deal with them? Would you rather lay in bed another hour or another day than deal with the world?

      Your feelings set the stage for the type of day and life you will have. You have to get up excited to face the day.

      Find something that you love to do and set aside time right when you get up to do that one thing. Do you like to run, meditate, knit or watch a TV show? If you know that upon getting up you will get to do that thing, it will help to set the tone for the rest of your day. Every morning I get up and go for a jog with my wife. I cannot wait to get up in the mornings and spend time with my wife for a few minutes as we both exercise and talk. This sets the energy for the rest of my day. Work seems great, my friends are fun and I enjoy all of my interactions because I radiate happiness.


    1. Your Energy: This may sound very similar to your feelings but there is a difference. At first when you are in a negative energy state it takes conscious effort and energy to elevate yourself to a higher energy state where you radiate happiness. As you practice feeling good and perceiving a caring world, your energy will get higher and higher.  Soon you won’t have to perceive a happy world because you will live in a happy world.


  1. Your Faith: What do you believe you should experience day to day life? Do you believe that life is a struggle and you need to fight your way through? Or do you believe life should be easy and you should get everything easily? This is the hardest part to truly build. Faith is the most powerful and solid way to build an easy life. Perceptions change day to day, feelings go up and down and your energy varies. Over time you can get them all in sync with your life’s goals.  But when you believe, when you have faith that you deserve the easy life and to have it all go your way, then it comes easily.

If you see yourself having bad day after bad day, try to ask yourself why you do this to yourself.  Then try to change your perception, feelings, energy and finally your faith. Once you do, you’ll be seen as one of the “lucky ones” by your friends who haven’t found the way out.


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The Time of Intention:

June 9th, 2010 by Steve

As I practiced the Law of Attraction, I pushed the limits further and further. What reality could I build today? It starts with small things but, gradually, you manifest bigger and bigger things. Finally, you get to the point where you want it all. You start to dream bigger and bigger in order to manifest your dream life. You do your affirmations, you radiate positive emotions, you keep the right frame of mind, and you wait and wait and wait. Why is it not here yet? Why is it taking so long? Anyone versed with the LOA and Intention will tell you it will come when you truly believe it is here. That is true but it is easier said than done. Why does Intention take so much time?

An answer, or theory, came to me as I got some great news in my life. My wife told me I was going to be a father. Being the OCD personality that I am, I immediately started reading everything I could about babies and parenthood. One fascinating piece of information was about how the babies develop. During the first 3 months, the baby goes from being a few cells to becoming a miniature version of the person it will grow into. After the first trimester, the baby still develops but mostly it grows. Usually, you cannot tell a woman is pregnant during the first 3 months.  She starts to show after 4 to 5 months. The first trimester is when everything gets differentiated.  The baby is small and tiny, but everything forms. Then when it is ready, it grows quickly and adds details.

Can Intention work the same way?

You set a goal and begin focusing. You put thought, energy, and feelings behind it. You visualize, you do affirmations, you put your full focus and the LOA starts to build your vision. Much like a woman in the first trimester, you don’t see any visual clues at first. All the parts of your new vision,  start to be created. Your new reality is being  put together. Once the vision is fully assembled, it grows and finally becomes manifest. Your new reality has been born.

I’m a big believer that the laws of the universe are evident everywhere around us. I think God gives examples in the normal process of things of how all the laws of the universe work. As I look around at creation, it seems to work the same way. From the process of creating a new life to building a house to creating art or writing, creation starts with designing the idea then having it grow.

First the creation comes from an idea, then the idea is designed or differentiated, grows, and finally  is built or born. The process of creation takes a long time and often we don’t see the results right away. This causes us frustration, which ends up working against our goals. When you are using the Law of Attraction to manifest your dream, you have to remember that what you are building takes time.  And much like my future son or daughter, although you see little physical evidence at first, you know they are coming nonetheless. The universe is putting all the pieces in place and differentiating your dream now, but if you let frustration creep in it will stall your progress.

The tough part here is believing without seeing. You have to keep the faith. You have to know that your dream is growing right now and avoid the negative feelings that often lead us astray. Know that every time you visualize you are growing the dream, every affirmation makes it that much stronger.  Every positive feeling gets you one step closer.

If you are feeling stuck or frustrated, remember:

1.     Your dreams are on the way and the universe is working hard to put everything into place. You may not see the evidence right now, but trust that it is happening.

2.     Remember that the Law of Attraction is a ‘Law’ which means it is always working. If you’re frustrated with gravity, it will still pull you to the earth. Laws work no matter what.

3.     It takes time to ‘differentiate’ your goal into being. All the pieces are being put into place.  Soon, they will grow big enough for you to see the signs.

4.     The Universe works on its own time table, but it IS working. It may not be here as soon as you think it should be, but it will be here in due time.

As a closing thought, try to use visualization every time you get frustrated. Once you catch yourself being negative and wondering “why hasn’t it come yet,” put the image in your mind of what you are working to achieve. If you keep this practice up, soon enough you will living your dream and working on your next one.


Is it in our nature to be dualistic and argue?

June 7th, 2010 by Steve

Today, politics seems to be the talk of the town. There are people who love or hate the course the country is taking. I often hear the arguments back and forth from each side.  It always struck me as funny that people assume you like the opposite side of what they’re arguing against. For example, I was listening to a conversation between two friends where one was unhappy with the current administration’s policies. The person he was arguing with assumed he therefore loved the previous administration. I started wondering why do we always break up into opposing sides? We tend to divide into ‘for’ and ‘against’ camps but rarely into any degrees of separation.

Very few of us seem to be able to truly stay neutral. We divide into Democrat or Republican, Religious or Atheist, Fit or Fat, Mets or Yankees. Why do we always seem to pick one side and fight the other? Why can’t we like something from this camp and something else from that camp, too? Why can’t there be 5 choices or 15? The answer, I think, is that whenever something powerful comes around people line up with it or against it. It is nature’s law of balance.

Can this dualistic view be our natural tendency and, if so, is it our job to grow past it?

When a powerful leader comes along does nature seek a balance to even out the person’s influence? Does the fact that he or she influences so many and brings such change cause the strong opposition that seems to face him or her? Our current President, Barack Obama, is changing our country in significant ways. President Bush before him changed our country in different ways. Both are powerful men and have changed the course of this country. Each had diehard supporters and outspoken opponents.

The opposition usually comes from a place of disagreement with the path the leader is taking. Opponents of Obama do not like the Healthcare bill or corporate bailouts. Opponents of Bush did not like the “War on Terror” or his take on Medicare. When I listen to their arguments, it seems in the end that people either like or don’t like the person rather than the idea.

The hot topic these days is healthcare and I hear conservatives who argue about the entitlement programs, while many of these same people receive Medicare and Social Security. So is it really entitlement they dislike or is it the man himself? On the other side of the fence, liberals would argue against the war in Iraq but frequently are the same folks who urged President Clinton to get more involved in Bosnia and help those people. So did they really dislike the war or the man?

I see the same pattern with any influential person or idea; we are drawn to or away from it. Either we love the rich or we think they are privileged and were given everything. We feel for the poor or we think they are lazy people who should work harder. You rarely find someone who is just in the middle and has no opinion. I know many people who bite their tongues but whose real feelings come out in private conversations.

We are compelled to be dualistic, to be with or against. I don’t know if it is a natural tendency or a socialized one but it seems to be there in spades. When I started changing my life years ago, so many people told me I was crazy to eat the way I did, to take martial arts and to read about Spirituality. They said it was too extreme to work so hard.  They believed it was not healthy or normal. It struck me as odd that they had such strong opinions about something that had nothing to do with their day to day life.

Why did it matter to them if I trained and meditated? What difference did it make to them? The same goes for arguments about religion, sex or politics. People praise their beliefs and condemn the rest. Once I became aware of this natural tendency in me, I found myself thinking before I spoke and lost the passion for arguing.

I started to think:

Why am I arguing this point? Will I really change any minds and do I really want to? Am I being draw in to this dualistic tug of war? Why does hearing someone talk against something I believe in require me to “fight” for my side? Do I really have or want a side?

The more I thought about these issues, the more I realized that I rarely would change someone else’s mind because their beliefs were as ingrained as mine are. I did not gain any insight into the topic because I would not listen objectively. Lastly, I would become frustrated and angry wondering why people did not see my point of view which, according to me, was obviously the right one.

Nothing good would come out of my dualistic nature so I decided I had to let it go. It was a difficult road. Knowing that I wouldn’t change my mind or others’ minds, I started to bite my tongue. I was not always successful, but I kept in mind that I was doing this for my growth. Since my logic told me I could not really win an argument, I realized it was an emotional crutch. Furthermore, the arguments would foster negative emotions like frustration, anger and resentment. The negative feelings would beget more negative feelings and negative outcomes in my reality so I had to turn the negative to positive. As arguments kept coming up, I tried to remember that I want positive outcomes. Avoiding the argument would, in the end, bring to me the type of positive reality I wanted. The more I forced myself to avoid jumping into the argument, the easier it got.

After some time I noticed that I was starting to see the middle ground. I listened to people arguing and heard decent points on both sides. I was starting to see shades of grey. It was fascinating. I had found my way out of my dualistic nature. I had found a way to listen objectively and hear both sides.

Next time you want to jump into that argument, take an inventory and figure out why you want to and what you will gain from it.  I wager the answers are because it is in your nature to argue and in the end you will get nothing out if it. So why bother? Instead, let it go. You will struggle at first, but after a few months of practice you will start to enjoy listening to others who have not mastered their dualistic nature.  You may even find some peace in listening to an opinion that differs from your own without the intention of arguing or countering it with another.

When faced with that argument remember: “Listen In Peace While They Speak Their Piece.”