Archive for March 25th, 2008

Frustration, Glorious Frustration!

March 25th, 2008 by Steve

Everyone faces frustration in their lives. It’s most marked when we just can’t seem to get past something holding us back from manifesting that next step. While most people dislike frustration, I thrive on it. I would rather feel frustrated than feel stagnant.Why?

Simply, frustration can be seen as a guidepost to making progress. So here come all the moans and groans. Progress, are you kidding? Frustration seems like the opposite of progress, but it actually depends on how you look at it.

Why do we get frustrated? In my experience, there are three reasons:

  1. We are conflicted about what we really want.
  2. We do not really want to manifest what we’re asking for.
  3. We are trying to manifest something very large and don’t like the time it takes.

Conflicted About What We Really Want:

Feeling conflicted is very common.

There are simple emotional conflicts like wanting to be rich, but believing that asking or having money is greedy. The Internet is full of methods and techniques for getting past conflicts like these.. Then there are the deeper conflicts that we do not realize we have. They occur when we are asking for something in our lives that our subconscious mind sees a as conflicting interests.

When you try to manifest two things that are opposing, you will feel frustration until you take time to choose one or the other. For example, you want to be a successful CEO of your own company and you also want to be a great mother for your kids. Both goals are possible to attain in a lifetime, but can you commit to doing both with equal passion simultaneously? Are both of these goals ‘in synch’ with each other?

We all have preconceptions about what it takes to be a successful CEO or a great mother. Generally, to be a CEO takes hard work, a lot of time, devotion to your business, etc. The same can be said of being a great mother.

So do you believe that you have enough time to devote to being a successful CEO and a great mother at the same time? If not, here comes frustration to let you know that you either have to choose one or the other or modify your beliefs to know that both are possible.

Choose the one that matters most in life and refocus your energies to manifesting that one goal first, with the other as a second. “I want to be a great mother for my children and still have the time to run a successful business” or “I want a successful business that gives me plenty of time to spend with my children.”

When you think or speak your goals this way, it will help your subconscious mind get behind it because you are no longer in conflict. You believe your goals are now possible, hence they become possible.

We Do Not Really Want to Manifest What We Are Asking For:

I often find when I talk to my friends and family about their dreams that they desire the same big dreams we all do. Often times, they want these dreams without the ‘work’ it takes to get there. If you want to be a CEO but don’t like public speaking, making big decisions and being out on your own, then what are the odds your subconscious mind will allow you to manifest being a CEO? Not too high.

You have to want to manifest something you really ‘Want’ to do. Make sure you know what you are asking for. See my article on ‘Knowing The Future You‘ to ensure you are not asking for something you don’t really believe in.

We Are Trying to Manifest Something So Big, But Don’t Like the Time It Takes:

Let’s say you do not have any conflicts with what you want, and you love all the characteristics of being a CEO. Why the ‘frustration’ now?

Back to the “I want to be a successful CEO” goal mentioned above. Are you aiming high, real high? Do you want a small business or do you want to be a millionaire CEO? If you want the millionaire, successful CEO life then how far is that from where you are today? How big of a ‘leap’ will it take you to truly believe that you are that person?

If you have been doing your homework, then by this point you are willing to take on the challenges presented and you know what you really want. Now what you need if for your life to manifest the opportunities to get you there.

When you dream big and intend to manifest big, it takes a lot of energy and time. I like to think of it in terms of physics, the concept of Potential and Kinetic energy.

Potential energy is stored energy in an object. Kinetic energy is that stored energy put into motion. So a one pound rock (Rock A) sitting 100 ft off the ground has more Potential energy than that similar one pound rock (Rock B) sitting 1 ft off the ground. Rock A has more Potential energy because it has the greater ‘potential’ for energy (the speed, and accordingly energy, it would pick up falling 100 ft would be much greater than the 1ft fall of Rock B).

Imagine there is a piece of plywood at the bottom of the fall that each of these rocks will hit. Once the rocks are set into motion, the Potential energy converts to Kinetic (movement). Which rock would break through the plywood? Rock A from 100 ft up, or Rock B falling from just 1 ft? Sensibly, we all recognize Rock A would break through and Rock B would never stand a chance to get through the plywood. This is because it never stores up enough Potential energy.

Let’s return again to our “Millionaire CEO” goal. If you are building up energy through your affirmations, visualizations and life experiences, then you are lifting yourself up to the 100 ft mark to break through that plywood barrier. This takes time. Falling to the plywood from the 1 ft mark has so little power that you would find yourself repeating the process. You start at the 1 ft mark, drop onto the plywood, and repeat the same cycle over and over. If on the other hand you build up the energy (stay focused, keep the belief strong, etc.) regardless of feeling frustrated, then you will reach that 100 ft mark. When you do reach that point, your life will give you the sign that its time to release that Potential energy and break through that barrier.

Frustration to me is a sign that either: 1) I am conflicted, which lets me know that I need to get my priorities straight; 2) I do not really want what I’m after, in which case I alter my goals and affirmations accordingly; or 3) I am trying to manifest something big enough that I have to build up enough energy to do it. In any event, frustration is a sign that some adjustment is needed in my approach. But ultimately, it means that I am making progress.

Practical Tools:

  • Write a list of each of your major goals in life. Create columns for each goal listed and jot down what you feel is necessary in attaining each of those goals. For example:
    Column A Column B
    Successful CEO Great Mother
    Work Hard Time w/ Kids
    Great Leader Leader of Family
    Tough Decision Maker Caring Compassionate to Kids
  • Once you have the goals and what they mean to you add another column at the end, in this case Column C. In Column C compare the qualities of Columns A and B and see if you find conflicts. Do you believe that to work hard as a CEO will not allow you to spend time with your kids? If so, underline these qualities in both columns.
    Column A Column B Column C
    Successful CEO Great Mother Comparison
    Work Hard Time w/ Kids Can I spend enough time on both?
    Great Leader Leader of Family Similar, No Conflict
    Tough Decision Maker Caring Compassionate to Kids Can I be both tough and compassionate?
  • Now take a look at any underlined qualities. Decide which column should take priority and rewrite your life’s goal to make you feel like both are possible. In this case, if Column B were more important you would write “I want to be a great mother for my children and still have the time to run a successful business.” If Column A were more important, then you’d write something like “I want a successful business that gives me plenty of time to spend with my children.” I know they sound very similar, but there is a difference however subtle. In your mind you’ll know that you removed the conflict and will feel that this new goal is attainable, removing any subconscious limitations.
  • Finally, take your goal and think what it would take to actually get there. What would have to manifest in order to get you from today to the day you check that goal off your list. To your best estimation, write down a list of checkpoints that would indicate you’ve reached the goal. How long is that list? The longer it is, the longer it will take to manifest, but you now have smaller goals to get to the larger one, so work on manifesting each one and before you know it you’ll be the Greatest Mother / CEO in the world.

Practical Intention

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